The Circle is Unbroken

One of the things that has always connected Dick and I is are crazy ass families. When I was three years old, my mom divorced my biological father and I haven't had any contact with him since I was four. When I was four my mom started dating W, who later became my step father when I was seven. They were married until I was 16, when they divorced and my mom proceeded to lose her mind... that is a whole other story. Anyway, I no longer have a relationship with W, as he started dating a woman who didn't particularly like me and didn't understand how he could continue to parent a child that wasn't his. Dick's mom and biological father divorced when he was four, and with the exception of one visit when he was eighteen, he has not had any contact with his bio dad since he was eight. He also had a step dad, and they still maintain a decent relationship.

There is something about being "fatherless" that most people can't understand. Even if you have a step father, you always know that you were essentially rejected or abandoned by a parent. As a child, I was really drawn to stories about adoption, because that was the closest I could find to my situation. So, it is only natural that Dick and I felt a certain kinship with each other because of our family situations. We understand being "fatherless."

Yesterday evening we found out that Dick's biological father passed away from lung cancer last weekend. The way we found out was the kind of convoluted, bizarre circumstances you would expect from such a complicated situation, so I won't go into it. It has hit both of us in unexpected ways. In my case, I realized that this could easily be my future - that I could find that my situation with my bio father resolved by death alone. And this really freaks me out. But, I am not really sure what to do about it. So, I am having trouble sleeping (4 a.m. post may have given me away there) and I don't really want to go to work tomorrow. But, I have nothing better to do. Wait, scratch that. Meaghan is in town and she is going to the Alligator farm tomorrow.

I don't know when the funeral is and I don't know if I will go. I tend to be way overly emotional at weddings and funerals and we've been warned that if we go, we will probably be mobbed by family members (Dick's dad had like eight brothers and sisters. Good gawd.) and I don't know if I can handle my first meeting with them being a funeral. Perhaps this would be a good time to ask my doctor for a xan@x prescription. With refills.

36 Days of Fun, I tell you!

I haven't blogged in thirty-six days. It's not because I don't love you blog. Here are 36 things about the last 36 days:

1. School is hard. Well, not technically. But it is time-consuming as hell. Five days at work + four days at school = stupid idea. But I am surviving.
2. My human growth and development teacher is a total flake. But amusing, which helps me stay awake at 8 a.m. on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.
3. That's right. I go to school before work. Once again - stupid idea.
   
4. My humanities teacher is a twaffle.
   
5. Dick got a new job.
6. Dick's new job is like the google of his industry. Not because of the money-making, but because they offer all these free goodies in the breakroom. Free snacks, free gourmet coffee, free sodas. They've given him a laptop and a PDA. He is really happy.
7. Dick went on his Very First Business Trip. To Atlanta. For a week.
8. I was pretty lonely that week. JennBert, I don't know how ya'll do it.
9. On many occasions over the past 36 days I have wished that I put Britney Spears in the Ghoul Pool at work (pick five celebrities that you predict will kick the bucket in 2007.) I can see her pulling an Anna Nicole Smith any day now.
10. I got an A on my first accounting test!
    
11. When Dick was away, my friends were really great about making sure I wasn't dying of loneliness.
    
12. We've been going to happy hour at a certain local bar every Friday lately. Two for one beers, bitches!
13. But, work is a time-and-soul-consuming place and often we miss the actual happy hour, but are willing to pay full price for beer because we are so freaking happy that work is over for the week.
14. I have been very disappointed with Grey's Anatomy this season. (Well, at least the first episode.)
15. I don't have a TV, so I've been watching TV on the Internets or at various friends' houses.
    
16. People are shocked as hell when I tell them I don't have a TV. They look at me like they are fully expecting my next words to be, "I am releasing all my worldly possessions, so when the mothership comes, I will be ready."
    
17. And Private Practice? WTF? I could write a better show. Seriously, call me ABC!
18. I had a really bad cold for a week. It sucked ass.
19. I chickened out and didn't get a flu shot when they were offering them at work yesterday. I fear needles.
20. When I had the cold, I missed a Monday at work, and then worked my ass off to get all my work done on Tuesday so I could meet my deadlines, and then it turned out that a big portion of my work had already been done by another person. Except no one told me. So, that was nice. Doing a bunch of work for no reason.
21. I had a brief moment of panic at work today when I found out that some managers were trying to get my manager to agree to have me take on more work. I actually tried to call Dick to get permission to quit if it happened. But, my manager stood his ground, and I shall remain just slightly overworked and underpaid.
22. We've had a lot of cake at work lately. We have cake everytime someone leaves.
    
23. My sister called me and asked me for advice about something, and then... she actually followed the advice I gave her. I don't know if I should be happy or scared.
24. My friend Erin and I are going to be white trash debutantes for Halloween.
25. My friend Meaghan is coming to town next week and I am really excited about seeing her.
26. Robert is coming to town in a couple weeks too. I am going to make some cupcakes for his arrival. Because every celebration deserves cupcakes.
27. I made some Mayan Chocolate Cupcakes for a party last week and they were a big hit.
28. Over the past 36 days I have given a lot of thought to the idea of opening my own bakery.
    
29. I really hate working for other people. Specifically old, white, rich men.
30. I have no idea where I am really headed at this point.
31. My job is like an abusive boyfriend. I can't quit you, job.
32. I hate the republic@n presidential candidate Fred Th0mps0n. Seriously.
    
33. I think NPR is doing a fantastic job of covering all the presidential candidates.
34. Because so many people have left at work, I now have three cubicles all for me. But I am only using two of them.
35. By Wednesday of next week, Dick and I will have paid off all of our consumer debt.
36. I've missed you blog!

Ok. I need to go to bed now. Yes, it is only 9:30 p.m. But, I had a test at 8 a.m. this morning, and I woke up at 6:30 a.m. to study. And my brain has reached maximum capacity for the day. I'll try to be a better blogger, I swear. Pinky promise.