That's the way it is

Some of my earliest memories are of my family watching the nightly news together. I loved Dan Rather. Seriously. I would pretend to be him, and would often "report live" from the backseat of our car on family vacations. My sister H did not find this amusing at all. But, can you blame her? I was always interviewing her, and I asked the hard questions, yes I did.

Anyway, my love of the nightly news spurred my love for newspapers, magazines, and now blogs (and all of the internets!). I work for the home-town newspaper I grew up reading, and although my work is pretty fluffy and most of my colleagues don't consider me a real journalist, I am very proud of my work, who I work with and what journalism means. My family is big into the whole "public service" thing and I consider journalism to to be one of the important forms of public service. In many ways, my silly newsroom job is a dream job for me. Even though the pay is shit.

So, we've established that I am a newsjunkie. This means I can remember some of Rather's best lines, especially in reference to elections. My fav - "He swept through the South like a tornado through a trailer park." Ahh. That shit would get you fired today. And I once saw Ted Koppel moderate a panel at a literary event, and afterwards I pulled his namecard (the one that sat on the table in front of him, telling everyone that he was Ted Koppel - which was completely unnecessary. I mean, he's Ted Koppel, people!) out of the trash and kept it for years. I may still have it, in fact. I am pretty sure he touched it at some point. Also - important to note - he is much more attractive in real life. Not that he is a real looker or anything, but apparently the camera is not friendly to him.

So, my love of news - and journalists - and nightly news anchors - means I take these people pretty seriously when they are on TV. So, when Tom Brokaw got choked up while talking about the untimely death of Tim Russert, I lost it. And I wasn't particularly a big fan of Russert. His show, Meet the Press, totally stressed me out. (I am also stressed out by American Idol and Jeopardy. Please don't judge me.) But, there is something about watching journalists get teary that breaks my heart.

I do want to note that I don't watch the nightly news anymore. Haven't in years. I don't have a problem with any of the anchors, but I find the product to be very, very fluffy. And entertainment driven. I read my paper and lots of other papers online, listen to NPR and occasionally watch the NewsHour with Jim Lehrer on PBS. And I am always thrilled when I stumble across Sunday Morning. I tend to forget that its not just a wonderful memory from my childhood.

Also - wow. Favorite line: "..the campaign, when it initially was contacted by the Post and ABC News, questioned why the story was newsworthy."

And - I am fully aware of Dan Rather's craziness. When I was a teenager, I read one of his autobiographies. He's like the crazy uncle that always has great stories, even if they are mostly made up or exaggerated for his benefit.

I will always love Peter Jennings though. (He was a high school drop out - like me!) And I will never read a biography about him so that his image may remain eternally untarnished in my head. Amen.

Remember that time? When we were in that uterus?

Hi blog. I've missed you. Have you missed me? No? Oh. Well. Um. Are you mad at me or something? I know, I know. 138 days IS a long time. I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I've been thinking about you a lot. Facebook status updates are no way to keep my friends aware of all the wonderful, witty things in my head. Only a blog can truly do that.

I've been thinking about the last 138 days and what prevented me from sitting my ass down and typing out a few thoughts. And honestly, a lot of shit has happened. I've tried to summarize in a haiku:

job eating my soul,
uterus stole my savings,
and I had the flu.

Are you afraid of uteruses (uteri?) or ovaries? Or menstruation? If so, you may want to skip a couple paragraphs, but before you do, I'd like to tell you that you are a dumbass. Seriously, you spent the first nine (more or less) months of your existence hanging out in a uterus. And guess what? You really fucking liked it! It was nice and cozy, perfect temperature and you basically hung out, floating and swishing around. And then, when you left, you were really pissed and cried like a baby bitch. So friends, don't be afraid of the uterus. (When I wrote this, I realized that I've always tried to plan vacations at locations that were nice, the perfect temperature and near water for floating. I don't know what that says about me.)

Anyway - uterus talk starts now:
So, in January, I started birth control pills after being off them for six months. And everything was going great. Until my period started. And kept going. And going. For 35 days. I learned a couple things in this 35 day time-span:
1) Apparently if you've been off the pill for a while and go back, it can make you a raving lunatic, especially if you are taking a certain type of low-dose pill. You may consider quiting your job and driving off a bridge. Or just driving to the airport, to take a plane to India, because you read about a guru in India that can help crazy people. Or you may consider committing yourself to the psych ward. You may go to your general care practitioner and say, "Hey doc. Something is wrong, I feel crazy. My OB/GYN just started me new birth control, but other than that, nothing's changed." And your doc may say, "Hey, let's up your anti-depressant dosage." And you may ignore her because you don't think that's the answer. And then one day, you may stumble across a random blog post that has a random comment about a certain new birth control pill making people crazy. And then you'll do some research and feel a little better about the whole thing. (It gets better with time.) Also, being a lunatic makes it really hard to go to work and school. Who knew?

2) When you have Hemophobia (fear of blood, specifically your own blood) having a period for 35 days is really fucking stressful.

3) When you have a 35 day period, you only have a few medical options for dealing with it. You can try messing with your birth control pills and seeing if changing them or temporarily stopping them makes a difference. But it is a crap shoot. Cause everyone reacts differently. Or you can have a D&C. Which is what my ob/gyn suggested.

4) A D&C is a really expensive procedure. Which they don't tell you until you have your pre-op the day before. And, the particular "surgery center" I went to wanted the cash up front. $1000. That didn't include the fee for the surgeon, the lab work, or the anesthesia guy.

5) D&Cs are also used to remove miscarried fetuses. I hope that I never have to go through one in those circumstances, because waiting in an ob/gyn waiting room filled with a million pregnant women, and a bunch of women with tiny babies, while the office people take two freaking hours to get your paperwork ready to do your pre-op appointment, which you thought was only going to take 30 minutes, really fucking sucks without the whole "dead fetus" thing. I am planning on telling the Ob/gyn that they need a separate waiting room for patients waiting for D&C pre-op appointments.

So, in March, I paid $1000, had my uterus reset and went home. And missed three days of work. Its been three months since I had it and everything seems to be good. They also stuck a camera up there, so I got to see snapshots of my uterus. Kind of cool. Also, I can officially say that I have had a camera in two of my orifices. One more to go!

And, of course, the surgery center fucked up my insurance claim, and ended up issuing me a refund for $400, which I have to basically just send to the surgeon. And then I have to send another $400 to the anesthesia doc. Fun times. The insurance provided by my workplace is the worst insurance I've ever had. On my old insurance, I had major abdominal surgery and stayed in the hospital for two nights. It cost $250 for the hospital and $150 for the surgeon. I was at the "surgery center" for three hours and it cost $1400.

My lady parts are so expensive to maintain.

OK. Uterus talk over.

Other things that happened:

January - Had sinus infection, missed two days of work.
February - Took trip to the Keys to visit my mom, sis, Grandma and Grandpa. Fun, except Grandpa had flu. Returned home, and then came down with the flu, and missed two and a half days of work. Also, withdrew from classes because flu+defective uterus+crazy hormones does not equal good student.
March - restarted uterus, missed three days of work.
April - Got another sinus infection, which found its way to my lungs and aggravated my asthma. My nightstand became a pharmacy of nasal spray, inhalors, three different types of mucinex, two types of antihistamines and advil. Oh, and a bunch of tissues. Missed another two and a half days of days of work. And then Dick got sick. Oi vey.
May - I started ADD medicine. And helped sister move. Dick worked out of town a lot.
June - Dick worked out of town some more. I stayed up late a lot and watched a lot of bad Tv. And lamented how much paid time off I had spent on sick days. Worried about work.

So. Blog. And blog friends. I have been a wee bit busy. But, inside my head, I have a billion wonderful, witty things to say, I promise. I just need to type them out. Things I plan on discussing:

1. My review of the sex and the city movie.
2. Dick's new crafty hobbies
3. The economy
4. People I hate. Or strongly dislike.
5. Investment options for people who work for companies that cancel 401k matching.

I know you are all very impressed. Ok. I am going to bed because I have some crafty wedding gift things I have to do tomorrow.

Ohh! Topic #6: Crafty wedding gifts that don't suck.

You are so glad I am back, aren't you?

Spring Semester

Well, a lesson to all ye students out there. Read your catalog carefully. I signed up for Precalculas Algebra, thinking that somewhere I had read that I needed it as a pre-requisite for another class. I started the class and felt completely overwhelmed. I really, really don't like graphing. I tried to drop with a refund, but was a day late and denied an extension. I figured I was screwed. Well, today, while freaking out about my first Precal test that was supposed to be tonight, I looked at my materials. I found out - 1) I don't actually need precal, just a math credit, 2) I could withdrawal and it would not effect my GPA. Now, I would still end up paying for the class, but I wouldn't have to sit through 16 weeks of class I didn't need. So, I withdrew and signed up for statistics. I have to take another statistics class when I get to the University level, so I figured it would be a good basis for that class. So! No freaking out about a scary math class! Hooray.

Speaking of college, one of my favorite bloggers, the South African Tertia, has called upon the masses to help friends of hers, Masande and Nontobeko, follow their educational dreams. I donated some money, in honor of my grandfather, who put himself through college while working full time and raising three kids. Sure, my grandma did a lot of the heavy lifting, but he made the grades and became a chemical engineer, which happens to be what Masande wants to be. If you've got a little extra cash, consider donating. Sometimes a little makes a big difference. (I couldn't believe that Masande's college registration fee was $450. Mine was $15. Now mine is for community college, but still! That's crazy. And he has to pay that fee before he can apply for financial aid.)

My grandparents come from generations and generations of really thrifty people, and somehow I've managed to screw that up with my generation. (Actually, it may be my mom who screwed it up first.) Anyway, I love their stories of ingenuity in the face of poverty. One of my favorites: At some point when my grandfather was in school and my grandma was at home with the kids, it became really popular to have either fancy wallpaper put in your house with a beautiful tropical vista, or if you were really wealthy, have someone come in and paint a mural of such a scene. My grandmother wanted one in her living room, but couldn't afford either option. She found a small paint-by-numbers scene that she liked, and my grandfather borrowed a projector from a friend. With pencils, they traced the picture onto the wall together, basically creating a huge paint-by-numbers. They found some paints that matched the colors they wanted, and then, when the kids were down for a nap, she would paint small sections of it. My grandmother is actually quite artistic (I think she could have probably painted a mural without the whole paint-by-numbers thing, if she'd had a little more confidence in herself. But poverty doesn't necessarily afford confidence, you don't want to waste paint, afterall) and in no time, she had her dream mural. And it apparently became the talk of the neighborhood. I love the idea of that - that art and beauty are worth splurging on, even if you have to fake it. I think that's a little something that many modern Americans are missing from their lives.

Booky Talk - "Birth"

Dick and I own hundreds of books. Dick tends to read non-fiction, including philosophy books, for fun. (Philosophy does not equal fun for me.) I like a good mix and try to alternate when reading, between the two. I started this year off with Tina Cassidy's Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born. A little known fact about me is that I have, on many occasions, secretly courted the idea of becoming a midwife. I believe that women's health issues go hand in hand with sexual equality, and are incredibly important. Because of my interest in this type of feminism and my own health issues, I have read tons about women's health, from infertility to abortion, to nutrition, menopause and breastfeeding. So, I was really, really excited about this book. I actually read the entire thing in one night. Here are my thoughts:

I wish the author would have included more about the political causes and effects of some of the changes birthing procedures. She detailed how in the late 1800s/early 1900s, men essentially began pushing their way into the "birthing room," which had traditionally been safely overseen by women and midwives. And that it is really within the last ninety years or so that hospital births have become standard. (If you think about how long we've been having babies, that is a really short time.) This time period also corresponds with the strengthening of the anti-abortion movement among states. This makes me believe that there may some additional social reasons beyond physicians seeing obstetrics as a financial opportunity. Perhaps that is a whole other book, though!

She did focus heavily on detailed procedure descriptions, which, were... gross. And some birthing horror stories. (One, in particular, involving a disgusting overcrowded hospital and a baby essentially eaten by rats, was really horrifying.) And while the shock factor was there, I was often left wondering about the hearts of these poor women who endured these things, and often I felt the author did not share my personal interest in them, but saw them mostly as scientific evidence.

Maybe I am just a big softy though. Despite being slightly less than I expected, the book was fascinating and horrifying. It made me thankful and somewhat suspicious of modern medicine. I wouldn't suggest that anyone read it while pregnant, or within a year of even considering pregnancy. Seriously. Unless you have big birthing hips.

Happy, eh, New Year

Yeah, so I am a little behind the times here. But I am a busy woman, what do you expect? This semester I have decided to only take two classes: Precalculas algebra and American Government. Taking two classes instead of three is going to throw off my graduation schedule, but I don't think I can do it again right now. Maybe in the summer.

I know its late, but I wanted to do this end o' the year meme from one of my favorite bloggers. Cause I wanted to be all retrospective and shit. And, also, I thought it would be good to look at it next year to see how I've grown and shit.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
Took three classes while working full time

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

No, I didn't. And I don't know about 2008 yet. My birthday is Feb. 9, which I normally choose to make my resolutions. It happens to be close to the Chinese New Year, which is helpful.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Umm.... I don't think so. No one close to me.
4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, my grandma. And Dick's dad. Who I wasn't close to, but knocked me for a loop anyway.
5. What countries did you visit?

I limited my travels to the United States of America. Unless you count Alabama as another country.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Financial security. A clean house.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Feb. 10 - Had my most awesomest birthday party yet - Pins and PJs. I realized what great, funny friends I have. The best present ever!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Three As in three classes in one semester. 

9. What was your biggest failure?

Gaining all the weight back (and more) that I lost in the H magazine challenge.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Well, I always am - I have multiple chronic conditions that suck. So yeah.
11. What was the best thing you bought?

I really love my new laptop, even though it is not a coveted Apple. One day, my pretty, you shall be mine. And all the drugs that keep me sane.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Dick.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Oh Britney. Wait, I don't know her. Hmmm... someone I know? The Wall (management in my office).

14. Where did most of your money go?

Eating out, beer and sandwiches at E-street, cigarettes and coffee for Dick. Ice cream. Oh! And tuition and books. Car payments. God, it sucks being an adult.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Baking. And ice cream. And my awesome friends.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

I am not musically inclined, people! I listen to what people tell me to. I don't know! Stop pressuring me!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
 a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer?
Happier, fatter and slightly (oh so slightly) richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Exercised, gone out on more dates with Dick, seen more movies, seen my grandma one last time. Traveled more.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Eating. Especially the Great Ice Cream Debacle of Summer 2007. (I think I ate ice cream every day for like three months or something. It was so refreshing! And now I am really fat!) Sitting on my ass.
20. How did you spend Christmas?

Went to Epcot the weekend before, spent Christmas Eve with friends and my sister, Christmas Day at work, and with Mom and family in evening.
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?

Yes, over and over again. Most of the time with Dick.
22. What was your favorite TV program?

I liked Grey's Anatomy, even though it pissed me off quite frequently.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I think all my current nemesises are oldies but goodies.
24. What was the best book you read?

I read a lot of books, mostly non-fiction. But, in the fiction realm, I read Welcome to Eudora, which was a lovely book that I didn't want to end. I love good storytelling.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Again with the music! I don't know! Whatever was on the radio!

26. What did you want and get?

I got a Cuisinart food processor that I've wanted since the beginning of time, or "1992," as I call it. And a more-attentive husband.
27. What did you want and not get?

A house, a puppy and a raise.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?

I liked "Knocked Up," but it was really the only movie I saw this year. Oh, and the James Bond movie... was that this year? Eh.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Bowled in my pajamas with 24 of my closest friends - I turned 27.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
To have kept the weight off, and lost more. 

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Sometime mid-year, I decided that I was no longer dressing business casual for work, since they weren't giving me (or anyone else) a raise, so I started wearing jeans everyday. So, jeans and t-shirts with ballet flats or converses would be my personal work style. And pajamas for everything else.
32. What kept you sane?
E-Street Fridays. Wearing my pajamas. Baking. Snuggling with Louie and/or Dick. 

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Daniel Craig. Yum. Oh, did you mean in an admirable kind of way? Hmm... Can't think of any. Kind of sad when you think about it.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Abortion rights.

35. Who did you miss?

My grandpa.
36. Who was the best new person you met?

Stef! Junebug! Anna! (And Erin! even though she was technically introduced to 2006.)
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.

E-Street two-for-one Happy Hour is 4-7 p.m. daily. I don't know if this is a life lesson, but I am incredibly lucky to have the friends and husband that I do.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I don't know the words to any songs! Unless they are Sublime songs from like 15 years ago. Do they count? "Are you a bad fish too?"

So, I think I will have more time for writing this semester, with my lighter work load. I hope to write a little something about every book I read because I realized that I don't really keep track of that, and I'd like to do that for my own sick purposes. (Yeah, you may be smart, but I read like 14.5 books last year, mister!) I hope to start that this week, with the books I read over the New Year holiday.

Countdown

So, after 16 hardcore weeks, I am done with school. Wait... let me wallow in the glory of the moment.... Yes, I am done with this semester. And all the hard work has paid off. I got three As. Yay for As. With the exception of one crazy teacher, I had good instructors who were flexible and nice. I still need to work on my procrastination problem though. And my organization. I am really organized at work, but in my personal life, I am a freaking mess.

But in twenty short days, I start all over again. This semester I have Precal, American Federal Government and Speech. Speech is required by my college, which pisses me off. Once again I specifically picked teachers that do not do group projects. I hate group projects. And a group project involving a speech? I can think of nothing worse. Anyway, in addition to all those classes, I am taking a four-week baking class. Hooray for baking!

So I am going to try my best to enjoy my twenty-non-school days. Luckily I will only be at work for ten of them. Although, work is getting interesting. I anticipate some major management changes in the next three months. I told someone today that I thought I would stay on for a while just to see what happens. I'll probably be able to write a book about this one day. I have some Christmas festivities planned, a trip to Epcot, some drinking, some visiting with family, some baking, some cleaning and some sleeping. Note to self: need new pajamas. Also, I will be developing some sort of bloggy plan for posting.

The Circle is Unbroken

One of the things that has always connected Dick and I is are crazy ass families. When I was three years old, my mom divorced my biological father and I haven't had any contact with him since I was four. When I was four my mom started dating W, who later became my step father when I was seven. They were married until I was 16, when they divorced and my mom proceeded to lose her mind... that is a whole other story. Anyway, I no longer have a relationship with W, as he started dating a woman who didn't particularly like me and didn't understand how he could continue to parent a child that wasn't his. Dick's mom and biological father divorced when he was four, and with the exception of one visit when he was eighteen, he has not had any contact with his bio dad since he was eight. He also had a step dad, and they still maintain a decent relationship.

There is something about being "fatherless" that most people can't understand. Even if you have a step father, you always know that you were essentially rejected or abandoned by a parent. As a child, I was really drawn to stories about adoption, because that was the closest I could find to my situation. So, it is only natural that Dick and I felt a certain kinship with each other because of our family situations. We understand being "fatherless."

Yesterday evening we found out that Dick's biological father passed away from lung cancer last weekend. The way we found out was the kind of convoluted, bizarre circumstances you would expect from such a complicated situation, so I won't go into it. It has hit both of us in unexpected ways. In my case, I realized that this could easily be my future - that I could find that my situation with my bio father resolved by death alone. And this really freaks me out. But, I am not really sure what to do about it. So, I am having trouble sleeping (4 a.m. post may have given me away there) and I don't really want to go to work tomorrow. But, I have nothing better to do. Wait, scratch that. Meaghan is in town and she is going to the Alligator farm tomorrow.

I don't know when the funeral is and I don't know if I will go. I tend to be way overly emotional at weddings and funerals and we've been warned that if we go, we will probably be mobbed by family members (Dick's dad had like eight brothers and sisters. Good gawd.) and I don't know if I can handle my first meeting with them being a funeral. Perhaps this would be a good time to ask my doctor for a xan@x prescription. With refills.